Fore Play - the key to success

10 Foreplay DON’TS to Remember

Sometimes, in our quest for better foreplay and better sex, we tend to get a bit carried away… to the point that we do things that TURN OFF our partners. Some of these mistakes are not just overzealousness but due to myths propagated in adult films and magazines.

Well, to avoid these foreplay booboos, here’s a list of Ten Foreplay DON’TS.


In General…

Take a shower and be properly groomed. I’m not talking about going to a salon here. Just ensure that your breath and body are clean. Also, if you’re planning to do some ‘poking’, ensure that you cut your nails down. Nothing hurts more than long nails, or can be more disgusting (in case you poke into something and er… take out something with your nails! Yuck!)
Put on some music. Foreplay can be a very embarrassingly noisy event (wet slapping noises, an escaped fart or two, etc.). To hide these sounds, drown them out with a bit of sexy music.

Don’t OVER-tongue him/her. Don’t ram your tongue into your partner’s eardrums or throat. It can be a complete turn off if he/she feels the need to tilt his/her head (from having clogged ears) or feels the need to gag.

Don’t embarrass him/her. I once advised a client to ‘start foreplay early during the day’ and mentioned some of my ‘foreplay moves’ like rubbing against each other, dry humping, footsie playing, etc. Well, I guess my client got carried away as she tried footsie playing with him during a business dinner. She thought she was being ‘naughty’, he thought it was annoying. Moral lesson? Know WHEN to make your moves.

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For Him...

Don’t twirl, tweak and twist her nipples hard. No. Despite what you often see in adult films, she really doesn’t like it if you play too roughly with her nipples. They need to be caressed, not manhandled.

Don’t be the one to request to turn the lights off. Almost all women have body image issues. So don’t do her a favor by asking to have the lights off. In contrast, she’ll immediately think you find her body offensive in some way. If she’s not exactly the ‘cover girl’ type, don’t over compliment her either because she’ll know you’re lying. Instead, just tell her you prefer women with ‘curves’.

Don’t go for G-spot stimulation if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing! Sure, G-spot stimulation can bring her almost sexual nirvana but it can be painful for her if you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m not saying don’t attempt it. Rather, be very attuned to how she responds to your fingers.

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For Her...

Don’t ask him to wear a thong. Ladies, despite what you hear about the ‘metrosexual man’, don’t ask him to put on a thong. It really does turn most men OFF.

Don’t smother him. He’s gone down on you and boy do you love it! You’re delirious with pleasure and because of this you… try to squeeze your thighs shut and/or start to grab his hair and knead his face against your crotch. Well, let’s see what you’re REALLY doing to him hear. With the first one, you’re like a praying mantis trying to squeeze and rip his head off. With the second one, you’re making it hard for him to breathe! Ease up girls. Show your appreciation the RIGHT way and he’s bound to lick you to the ends of the earth again.

Don’t expect him to read your mind. One of the worse things you can do during foreplay is to expect him to know exactly what you want to happen. With this attitude, you’re really setting yourself (and him) for a foreplay disaster. Let him know that you like what he’s doing to you, or better yet, TELL him EXACTLY what you want done. He’ll appreciate it and you get what you want. Win-win!


Foreplay is all about increasing sexual tension in a way that is pleasurable for you and your partner in more than just the sexual sense. It should be in an atmosphere of comfort and trust, and maybe even with a hint of sexual danger, and not be forced or selfish in any way.

Think about this the next time you engage in foreplay with your partner and you’re bound to have a great and sexually thrilling time!

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